In the past week alone I’ve had a fair smattering of life’s slings and arrows. I can’t go into much detail as they involve other peoples’ business but suffice to say that a couple were notice of serious ongoing issues, a couple involved poor behaviour on the part of folk, one or two were reminders of just how ill I am, and another was quite amusing.
If I’m honest I think that these events would have taxed the capabilities of someone who was fully fit. When, however, you are ill finding the resilience to deal with what feels like a tsunami of problems, irritations and slights is hard. Particularly with this kind of illness which interprets problems as an attack and ramps up my already dysfunctional nervous system to deal with them.
This creates an unhealthy cycle. Horrid event——-> worry/concern/debate/self-doubt——–> physical reaction: symptoms are increased, functionality decreased——-> anticipation of the next awful incident——–> greater sensitivity and decreased ability to withstand the next horrid event. When, as happened this week, there are more than a few of these in a short space, with little recovery time in between, my health suffers badly.
Resilience is a key component of good health. Upsetting events happen all the time; they are a normal part of life. How can I build the necessary resilience when I feel fragile?
Ideally, it would be good to get off the world for a bit! Given that this isn’t likely to happen, what else can I do?
• Firstly, be as kind to myself as possible. Recognise that it is ok to feel bad when bad things happen.
• Try to minimise the age-old patterns of worry, self-recrimination and doubt. Make a decision and let the situation rest. Don’t use precious energy going over and over the events.
• Rest properly using mindfulness and relaxation techniques to give my body the space and time it needs to do its healing work.
• Simplify life as much as possible; take the easiest routes where the harder would be the automatic response.
• Be open, curious and non-judgemental about horrid events; by assigning them a level of horridness I’m building in a level of reaction which, at a physical level, will translate into a huge over-reaction. Tone it all down.
• Look for help and support.
• Concentrate energy on the good stuff that is also happening. Find something to make me smile or laugh.
In other words, there is much about my external environment I cannot change so I need to adapt my internal environment to allow me to withstand life’s knocks without them, in turn, making me more ill. It is a tough and ongoing process but absolutely vital to the recovery of my strength and wellbeing.